I have finally saved some time to write about 2007. This year was interesting. I spent the year kind of recovering from the exhaustion from 2005 - 2006. After the divorce I had spent a lot of time trying to fix what I thought was broken in me. I tried hard to eliminate any hateful feelings and be a "happy person". I realized that this wasn't me, I do have a fighting side. Not allowing this fighting side left me feeling "goooey". I had lost touch with the resilient competitor in me. I forgot about my teeter that went with my totter. That is where the year started and a hint as to where the year led me.
As I experienced more of life's bitter tastes, I felt a comfortable change. First of all my anxiety in seeking fun is no longer at a boil. I have throughout my life chased fun and had to be around fun. So having many friends in different states and many who are in intimate relationships made it hard to dazzle myself during free time. This year was an excercise in reaching out. I reached out to new groups, activities, and solitude. I started the year doing some snowshoeing. This was a first for me and will be something I continue to do as long as my body lets me. I tried some cross-country skiing and will need some major practice in this skill. It is a lot of work and can get expensive. I was able to hike alot. I found Duke (the dog) a friend. Her name is Angel. She keeps me company on the trail while Duke forges ahead. I was able to backpack a bit and hope to meet some more people to teach me more mountaineering.
I continue to work with several groups in the city. I am still part of Beginning Experience, which is great group of folks that put together weekend retreats for recently divorced and widowed people. With the help of many friends in the church, we started a bi-weekly bible study for young adults. I was invited to participate in a Men's group. This has been a profound experience. I have met so many interesting people. It has helped realize how valuable character is and how easy it is to disregard it.
I spent another year single, I would say a majority was by choice, but then again maybe not. I think it was a good thing. I really had not had any time for anyone else besides my girls. With that said, I am finally comfortable with our routine. The girls are really finding a rhythm in the mornings. I have also found tempo in being single. So I think making myself available may be something I pursue this year.
Many other relationships have flourished in 2007. My mom and I have grown close again and she really helps me alot with the girls. My aunt Julie has also made being a single dad easier by picking my girls up from school and caring for them till I am done with work. My dad and I are really connecting. It has been a huge blessing to be able to open up to him. Seeing both my mom and dad's families able to be around each other has been a huge gift. It has been a year of balance.
During the year I made a decision to seek a career in counseling. This spawned from a goal to teach. The universe gave me a little nudge by sending me to work for UNM. So I will be working on a E-Learning portal, which provides a central interface to UNM's on-line course system. I will be making a go at a masters in counseling with the hopes to one day have a practice for Men's work. It for now is a dream but I have set my course for it and am gonna see where my drive and God's grace will take us.